A lesson on....lurrrrrve =P

Good afternoon, kids!

Good afternoon, Professor Clara!

I love seeing wonderful relationships blossom. But guys are dickheads and girls are prone to getting cheated on. It's a fact of life! So I, Professor Clara, will teach you kids something very important today, and you should take my advice until you are 99% down the grave!

Here we go!

This is what dumb girls are like:



Note that guys are all horny and love is blind.

and then...



BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!

So now, this is what smart girls are like:



Note that there are two types of girls: smart or dumb. But there's only one type of men: Horny and dumb.



Oh yea, strong girls turn me on. Go girls!

Conclusion: Ahh heck, you derive your own conclusion (something along the lines of don't rely/depend on the guy too much, don't be too clingy etc). I did my part. Now girls, run along and throw your cute green ballet flat shoes at dumb boys! Make sure you aim properly. (The reason I chose green ballet flat shoes as a weapon is because I saw a really cute green pair on sale at Myer for $17 and it was the last pair in size 5. I'm a size 6. I am very very pissed off.)

Class dismissed.

Disclaimer: I have a feeling that LeeAnn might think that this entry is my impression of her relationship with Joe. But let me assure you that I did not mean or am implying that Joe is gonna cheat on her or run away or anything of the sort. The big boobs does not mean that the girl is her either. But I'll admit that all class of boys ARE horny, so if you think that bit reflects Joe, it was just a major coincidence. Hahaha. I truly, genuinely feel that their relationship is beautiful as me, as romantic as me eating chocolates by myself in my room (very romantic ok! You don't know what I do with my chocolates at the privacy of my own house) and as sturdy and strong as a warm, hard dick.

Well thanks for attending my lesson guys!

Toodles!~

Paris Hilton v ... Song (WTF!?!?!)

Song says:
dun u reckon?

Song says:
very small n cute

Me says:
???

Me says:
what is small and cute

Song says:
paris hilton's eyes

Song says:
they r like mine

Song says:
when she smiles

Song says:
can u see it?

Song says:
i can

...

Paris Hilton



and

Song



Forgive me for my appalling photoshop skills.

Well it's up to you guys to judge!

I'm back *giggles*.

Okay okay, I know I haven't been blogging for awhile.Didn't feel like it. However, a series of interesting things (IMO anyway) did occur.

My dad was back in town for a week. He bought me a new shiny red MP3/USB player from Singapore (it looks like a coke can). I also got three new bras and undies. Burmese lollies. Burmese Sambal. Hair straightener/crimping set. Some other stuff. My dad cleaned the pool, cut the grass, replaced broken light bulbs, etc etc etc. Sucha good dad, huh! My lil sis went to some dinner thing with my dad and they won a new LG slim DVD player =D. He left on Saturday. Can't wait to see him along with my mummy and Melvin in KL at the end of the year!

---

Michelle left to Queensland =(. We had a going away dinner for her at T-Chow. Ling and me got her BodyShop stuff. So she'll think of us when she's in the shower. Reaow.

We caught up again in Marion one day before she left. We watched Sin City. Good looking movie with a bad storyline.

Miss you heaps, Mee-shell. Have fun in Brissie!!! We'll catch up when you come back to Adelaide and also in KL! *hugs*

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I went over to Jacqui's on Saturday night for a sleepover.

Short summary:

Eeling, Jacqui and I.

Dinner. Real chicken rice.Yummmm. Jacqui's mom= great cook!

Eeling's mom is really cool.=)

Five games of Uno. Scores- Jacqui: 4, Eeling: 1, Clara: 0.

Mona Lisa Smile. Gorgeous movie. I loved it.

Read magazines (I am so not bisexual dammit!).

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Cakes and dumplings for breakfast.

Played with Jacqui's mousies. Cute!

Home.

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Movies I saw after the last time I blogged::

- Sin City

-Mona Lisa Smile

- A Few Good Men: I didn't mind Tom Cruise that much in this movie. Demi Moore has big bosoms. I didn't like the sound effects. I love this movie though. Very interesting storyline. I love the whole overused,cheesy 'You want the truth? You can't handle the truth' thing. =P

-Shutter: It's a Thai horror movie. And, it's fucking scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't sleep for two nights. But I definitely recommend this movie to YOU, yes you! You so wanna watch the last part! It's actually a well-made horror movie with a decent storyline. Plus, Ananda Everingham is SO HOT I WANT HIM RIGHT NOW! Licks*.

-Jason X: This movie was fucking painful to watch. I HATED IT WITH VENGEANCE. It's such a waste of time and I actually felt like suing the director/writer/the whole movie cast/whoever's involved in making this movie for creating this big pile of shit!!!! I could sue them for the anger and frustration it caused me which could lead to heart attack. Okay, I know it's not possible to sue them for anger and all but I don't care. To me, anger is a recognizable psychiatric injury. Wait, but I'm always angry. Does this mean I'm a psycho? Argh stuff this. Look what this movie did to me.

- Two lame-ass Hongky movies: Nearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrly as bad as Jason X. I don't remember the names of the two Hongky movies I saw because it's a waste of brain cells and memory space. Why can't the producers put the money to better use? Like help impotent men.

OMG and I can't wait for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. SEPTEMBER 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Johnny Depp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dies of impatience*

Oh and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (the movie duh) is coming out on December 1st! The girl who's playing Cho Chang is not very pretty. Sorry to break your heart people! Cedric Diggory is ugly too! Even Viktor Krum is better looking than he is.

---

Speaking of Harry Potter, I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at 3am today! I want to discuss it here, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone. I never cried so much reading a book.

*sniffs*

*WAILSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

So so so so so sad. =((((((((((((((((

I'm gonna start reading The Bride Stripped Bare by Anonymous which Jacqui lent me. Kate told me it's porn-ish. YAY!

---

Oh yeah, I got my exam results back too. I got 2 High Distinctions, 1 Distinction and 1 Credit. I'm pretty dissapointed for Torts. =( I shall study harder, I mean smarter, this semester.

Sigh. First day back at uni today. Kate's back from China too. Yay! Haven't seen her for two weeks. I'm so jealous, she had so much fun there. She went to Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, Hong Kong, etc. Drools.

I had my first two-hour Contract Law Lecture (all I had today). This subject seems pretty interesting. =) I'm looking forward to Criminal Law and Lawyering! I don't know about Philosophy. I looked through my book before. It has shits like 'The definition of Life', 'What is Identity?' and even funnier, 'What is the meaning of "Question"?'. I'm serious. =S

I'm broke too. I spent $150 on books today. And that's only half of what I need. Sigh.

---

Oh yea! LeeAnn is now going out with Joe. Whopee! He asked her out on Friday. Hehe, I'm happy for her! She's so damn loveydovey, cheesy, romantic, love-is-such-a-fairytale-y these days. Well, I know she's already like that, but it's like, magnified! Well, I'm sure he'll treat her good, but if he doesn't...*Clara flexes her biceps*.

Hahaha.

For some reason, Leeann thinks I hate/dislike Joe though. Well I have to admit, my first impression of him wasn't umm too flash, but I don't hate people I barely know! So when I saw him the other day, I was nice to him, just like I am to everybody. Like even genuine nice. And he was kinda awkard-ish towards me. When he talks right, he doesn't make eye contact. So I guess it's not me who dislike him?

But hey, I'm still happy for her! My opinions of him shouldn't matter too much.

---

As per usual, I shall end my post with photos. Of clothes!

Theme: Outfits I adore.

Courtesy of Vogue.com.



Isn't that cute? I love the trenchcoat and the umbrella! I can't wear trenchies because I'm too short.





I think the whole Nautical look is cute! Not something I'd wear, but good eye candies!



Paris' dress is hot!





I'll call this dress the 'Bubble' dress. Hehehehe. So pretty. Sigh.





Not really an outfit, but I love this wraptop. Melanie from Big Brother wore a white version. Hawt.



I love this winter outfit minus the ugg boots. I'm not a big fan of uggboots outdoors. Too many teeny-boppers wearing them. I like the jacket, skirt, top, beanie and stockings.



Ditto.



Gorgeous summer outfit. Especially *heart* the top.



Another cute summer outfit.



Love this look! So polished. And sleek. I'm too much of a man to pull it off though. Hahaha.

That's all for now.

I'm thinking of getting a haircut soon. Ideas, anyone?

One Question Survey

To the Male and Female Human Species,

I want this question answered.

Do you condition (as in with shampoo conditioner) your pubes?

No I am not weird. I am just curious.

Since some of you will be to shy to answer, I'll give you multiple choices.

A Omg, like always! That's why it's so smooth like...Julio Iglesias voice.
B Yes, but only when I squeeze too much conditioner for my hair. I hate wastage.
C Yes, occassionally, when I'm going out on a 'mission'. Rawr.
D No, mine is naturally untangly and smooth.
E No, I've got none because I bikini wax/shave/have not hit puberty/am three years old/other funny reasons.
F No, I don't use conditioner.
G Yes, insert your own comments.
H No, insert your own comments.

My answer is: B.

I don't care. All of you reading this entry MUST ANSWER this question. YOU MUST! Including Gladys, Brenda, LeeAnn, Pikyan, PunSoong, Song, EeLing, Abhishek, Michelle, Kate, Sam, JiaMeei, whoever who commented.

--------------------

I watched Fantastic Four yesterday with Song, Soong, Gladys, Brenda, LeeAnn, EeLing and Ong.

I wanted to watch Batman but it was sold out.

I hated the movie.

Don't make me go on about it.

I bitched a lot about the movie after I saw it.

It's blardy cheesy.

Unoriginal.

Jessica Alba is hot.

But can't act.

Just plain stupid.

And a waste of time.

And a waste $A 5.70 (Tuesday is Tight Arse Day).

Bla bla bla.

It sucks.

I need to blog (even though nobody reads it)!

I've been watching some good movies. Because I'm bored and have nothing to do in the holidays. And because I have splendid taste in movies.

I've got too much to say. So I'm gonna make very short reviews. Like really short.

1. The Aviator

This movie is really good! Worth your precious three hours! Trust me. There's so much to think about when watching this movie. Leonardo Dicaprio is surprisingly impressive in this movie. With his obsessive compulsive behaviour acting and all. Brilliant!

2. Secret Window

I loved it. Brilliant storyline. Johnny Depp was really good in the movie. And no, I don't like the movie just because he's in it. It's a good movie overall.

3. Lost in Translation

This movie won Golden Globe Awards including one for Best Picture. I'm not kidding you. It's that overrated. Not a good movie. I think Americans loved this movie for its cultural feel. That's all I can think about.

4. Frida

I LOVE THIS MOVIE! My favourite movie by far. You must watch it. It's spectacular and just fucking brilliant. There's nothing more I can say. There are no words to describe it. Just perfect. I'm repeating myself. GO WATCH IT!

5. Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind

I loved this movie as much as I loved Big Fish (which I love very much). Hehe. Twisted in a good way. I like the 'loop' effect. Okay I'm really bad at reviewing movies. Just go watch it and agree with me. You'll understand what I'm talking about.

6. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-ya Sisterhood

One word. This-movie-fucking-sucks-so-don't-watch-it! Okay, more than one word. Shoot me. The plot is just...wrong. I felt as though it had BIG holes the size of Pamela Anderson's left boob. If I directed this movie, at least it'll be half decent.

The movies I wanna watch:

1. The Hours

I rented this on DVD. Nicole Kidman won an Oscar for Best Actress for this movie. I hope it's good.

2. The Girl with the Pearl Earrings

I rented this on DVD too. This movie just looks so good! I heard the book is really good, so yeah. Plus, Scarlett Johanssen is really hot. And that's not the reason why I want to watch it. Kate said that if she's lesbian she'll sleep with her. HAHA! Kate's gross.

3. A Few Good Men

You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

Song and Feng told me this is a really good movie. So it's next on my DVDs-to-rent list. I hate Tom Cruise but if it's a good movie, it's a good movie. The only thing I'm worried about is that Song has bad movie taste. He likes shits like American Pie and Scary Movie 1,2 and 3, Harold and Kumar...you get the drift. Hmmm, we'll see, wouldn't we, my lovelies.

4.Mona Lisa Smile

This is also on my DVDs-to-rent list. It looks good as well. I don't like Julia Roberts that much but I saw the trailer. It looks good enough not to miss.

5. The Motorcycle Diaries

Also on my DVDs-to-rent list. Kate told me it's a really good movie. We have similar taste in movies. Thus, I must watch this one.

6. Batman

Heard from a lot of people that it's heaps good. I got caught up in the hype, so I want to watch it! I hope I won't be dissapointed, as I have high expectations. Hehe.

7. War of the Worlds

I'm just curious as to how bad this movie really is! If it is, I'll just blame it on Tom Cruise. Muahaha.

--------------------

Kookai is having a 50% off all sale stock Sale. I bought a cute longsleeve top with words at the back. I also saw really cute charm earrings. I wanted it, but since I'm saving up for KL I decided against it. And I saw this gorgeous silk black dress with really funky layers and some turquoise pattern on the front. It was so damn nice! I really wanted it as it was so cheap. I tried on a size 1 (small) and I couldn't zip it up. I'm not exactly fat and I'm usually a small so I was so annoyed. Then, I tried on a size 2 (medium) and I could just zip it up (had to suck in all the breath I've got). But it was exposing more than half my boobs. Argh. So now it's haunting me! Now I know why it's on sale. It's SO DAMN GORGEOUS I CAN'T STAND IT! AND SO CHEAP TOO! I'm gonna cry in my room now.

Okay I'm back. Since I am so annoyed, I shall post photos of all the gorgeous dresses I found on the net. Haha.











Same dress on Mischa Barton.









To be continued...

Sorry if that killed your bandwidth.

Complainer.

I feel like having a whinge.

I can't stand girls who over-flirt with a guy (that's not their boyfriend of course). Like manja-manjaing (malay word) with the high-pitched voice, touchy-feely-ness and pouty mouth. So damn fucking annoying.

I can't stand girls who merajuk over small shits as well. Especially when I went through the same thing.

I can't stand guys who are nice only to single girls. Just because they know they've got a chance.

I can't stand a certain person, who apologized only to this other person just because this other person full merajuk over something so damn small, and didn't think of apologizing to some other sweet sane person (that didn't manja or merajuk) who went through the same thing as the merajuk-ing person. (Okay I don't think I made very much sense. Oh well. It makes sense to me. )

Girls should never do too much shit for a guy. Guys do take advantage, you know.

People should never ditch their friends even if they found a new boy-toy. Always make time for your friends. At the end of they day, they're what that matters most (when your boy-toy plans backfire). I admit I might be slightly contradictory on this point. But I try my best to make time for everyone.

Girls should never listen and do everything a guy tells them to do. Have it your own way. Well of course, I'm not denying boys their decision-making powers. But don't let a guy be too controlling.

Argh. So damn frustrating. It's beginning to sound like a Boys 101 Guidebook.

It's just what's annoying me at the moment. If you think I'm talking about you, don't be so perasan (egoistic). I'm not referring to you. That way, I don't hurt anybody's feelings.

I get frustrated over little things. Actually, no. They are not petty at all. So, listen up girls! Read the above again.

I feel like shopping because I am feeling angry. I wish I've got infinite amount of money to buy me everything on my you-don't-wanna-know how-long-it-is wish list. I know people say 'Money can't buy you happiness', that's bullshit (according to my shallow, materialistic theory anyway! So don't go cursing at me). I feel happy whenever I have something new and the satisfaction you get from buying something with the money you earn is just bliss/orgasmic. Money buys me chocolate. And that gives me happiness I just cannot describe (i.e. Too Fucking Goood). It can also buy me a boob job. Bigger boobs would make me happier with myself. Also, do I think money can buy me love? Yes. Watch the $25 million Dollar Hoax Show. The family was full jealous in the beginning, when that girl won '$ 25 million'. In the last part, she earned that LOADS of wonderful prizes, and they love her once again. (Haha, okay, like I said, according to my shallow, materialistic eyes).

I also believe:

Money makes the world go round.

No money, no talk.

Money is the root of all evil. According to the Clara Dictionary of Good English, 'evil' means chocolate, fame, success, beautiful clothes and all things Clara loves/want. Thus money is the root of all evil because it allows Clara to buy all things she loves/want. Yes, shutup, I make sense.

*Snaps back to reality* Okay I don't have that kinda money do too much shopping right now. Please remind me that I am saving up for my MASSIVE SHOPPING SPREE IN KUALA LUMPUR, THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! If you remind me constantly, that'll stop me from shopping too much here so I can have millions to spend in Malaysia! *evil laughter* I don't have that satisfaction of spending whatever I earn anymore because I quit my job at Wokinabox. Don't need to feel sorry for me. Hehe.

Speaking of 'earning' money. Which brings me to another point. Australia and it's encouraging-lazy-people-to-get-lazier Tax and Welfare system. I've got too much to say on this topic and I can hear some of my friends groaning already. I know I argued with some of you on countless occassions and it must be pretty frustrating for you guys to see me soo 'emo' about it. Haha. So I'll do you a favour by shutting up (for now anyways. Muahahahahaha).

Since I'm angry and frustrated today, I shall not post any 'exciting' photos as I usually do. ROAR.

I found a website that made my day. I know I'm not alone. Wipes sweat*

Click click. Grapes v Watermelons (Pickles will get this joke. Haha)

I love you, vogue forums!

----------------------

To Kate and Jacqui,

I had fun with you girls today. Of Pho, Bubble Teas and Haighs Chocolates. Yum.

Adore the Witchery Cardigan you bought, Kate. More window-shopping for me, though! I'm dying to shop. I'll wait for my KL trip for that! Hehe. Encourage me to save please.=D

To Pik Yan,

I love the Peach and Rose Green Bubble Tea you made me today.

To Gladys, Song and Tony (and perhaps more),

I had fun playing badminton with you people today. Especially Gladys. Great to play with someone worse than I am. Muahaha.

Lots and lots of love,

Clara

x o x o

I want a bigger bum.

I'm the person people love to sit next to on the bus. I just don't know why. It must be my wonderful odour. Or my friendly face. Or my petite-ness. Yepps. My petite-ness.

I was on the bus to town yesterday. There were around three empty bus benches. All the other benches, including mine, were occupied by people sitting by themselves.

The door opened. A man in his forties, with a long, greasy mullet wearing a blue-checked shirt sat next to me. He smelt of smoke. He coughed a lot too. I was wondering why he didn't sit next to a nice looking old woman in front of me. Or on the other empty benches. He got off.

The door opened again. A pudgy, old woman with curly hair sat next to me. She smelt of spice. I was wondering why she didn't sit next to the woman on my right, eating wokinabox. Or on the other empty benches. She got off.

The door opened again. An old woman, in her sixties or seventies I couldn't tell, wearing a yellow beanie, a sunshine yellow jumper, mustard yellow pants, bright fuschia gloves and lavender scarf came in. She had Richard Gere white locks. She looked around. She sat next to me. I was wondering why she didn't sit next to the young lad behind me.

She was very interesting indeed.

First she talked to me about the wonderful rainy weather.

Then she said, 'Older women are very comfortable with their bodies. Younger women should accept their bodies no matter how they look. When they get to my age, they'll understand why.' Fair enough.

She told me she watched Madagascar with her girls (which I assume, meant friends) yesterday. Her favorite movies are Finding Nemo, Shark's Tale, Shrek 1, Shrek 2 and some other famous cartoon I cannot recall (Robots? Brother Bear?).

She got off at Chinatown. I watched as the yellow old woman walked away.

I concluded that people choose to sit next to me because of my small ass that does not take up too much room.

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Man, what a pointless post. Soong, Feng and I helped Song move yesterday. His new house is really nice!

Howdy, new neighbour!

Dinner was good. I had Veal Parmigiana. Delishhhhhhhhh. A twenty five centimetre piece of veal. With melted cheese. With bolognaise sauce. Sprinkled with ham. Over a sea of mash potatoes. I ate the whole thing! But I didn't each my vegies.

Song, Feng and I got into an argument over a game of Scrabble. It made me think boys (actually only Song) have no brains. Haha.

Soong's mom makes lovely chocolate cheesecake.

Ate Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream Kettle Chips for supper. Feng, Soong and Song had Subways.

Got home. Nearly four a.m.

Abhishek is leaving for India. Have a great flight there!

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I read Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan in the afternoon. Got up to Chapter 7. Great book!

I wonder what we are all going to do tonight. I'm bored.

Love Clara.

x o x o