I love my chubby duck: Lenny Shingkenishi!!!!!!!!

This post ain't gonna be like my usual, meaningless, lame posts. Thus, it is typed in green.

I was having a shat in the toilet, thinking of all the MANY things that piss me off. So I'm making a list, hoping that after people read this, the world will be a better place (well, my world anyway).

Things I hate:

1. People who crosses the road extremely slowly as I (a reasonable, prudent driver) am approaching them. Like, hello!??! Can you just fucking stop taking your own sweet time and walk faster?!?! It's not gonna hurt you to do so, in fact it might even save your life (even though it is evident you don't really care about it). I know we, as drivers, must slow down when there's a damn pedestrian crossing, but you are NOT king of the road, as my car is bigger than your puny little body.

2. People who 'act cute' when their photos are being taken. This include doing the peace sign. (I don't mean to offend anyone when I say that. Personally, I HATE it)

3. Oh oh, and you know what's even worse? People who take photos of themselves with the cute lil webcam or digicam AND act cute. ARGHHHHHHHHHH! Ok firstly, don't dress up and put makeup and shit just for the webcam. Secondly, don't make your eyes look bigger and make cute expressions (e.g. pouting, smile cutely, giggle). Thirdly, don't take your photo from a million different angles and pick the best ones to show your other teenybopper friends so they'll see how thin and pretty and cute you look!

Seriously right, your friends (if you have any) know how you look IN PERSON. You don't have to take cute photos to try and convince them that you are not actually ugly. TOO LATE. YOU CAN'T HIDE! Geez. Also, when posting photos, no need to choose the best ones because one day people will see you in person and discover the truth. They'll say something along the lines of 'Omg, without all those photoshopping and airbrushing, she look damn ugly/fat/pimply/ man!'.

Check out my photo below. I look damn retarded here. But then at least I know this is just me and that my friends seen me in person, and know how gorgeous (haha) I look. Thus, I'm not worried about ugly photos.



4. People who says I'm wrong and argue with me (with no good points) just to annoy me. DON'T DO IT.

5. Kim, my ex-job manager. If you know her, shut the fuck up.

6. Pizza Hut. Because they charge extra for dine-in. The cost of trasnfering a pizza onto a plate and then washing if after costs no moer than a disposable pizza box. What the fuck man. I love the Chicken Aloha pizza with BBQ sauce though. No, I am not contradicting myself.

7. People who goes 'Hey Clara, guess what?' really 'excitedly' and then go 'Nah, actually I shouldn't tell you. It's embarassing/a big secret/etc'. Argh, seriously, if you wanna tell me something, don't stop halfway. Curiosity kills Clara. (Actually I did it to Pickles before. Sorry Piks. Haha.)

8. The fact that my hair grows. I'm angry that it's not as cockatooish anymore. Please comfort me.

9. People who calls me a 'fob'. FUCK YOU. 'Fobs' are people who do not know English (very well) and says stuff like 'How is the weather laaaaaaaaaaaaaa?' The fact that I've got a Malaysian accent does not make me a fob. Leave me alone.

10. People (above 15) who screams in disgust when they hear the word 'sex'. Argh. Sex is out there. It happens whether you like it or not. (Look outside. You are bound to hear/see something.) So don't act like some innocent goody-two-shoes. You're not.

11. People who wears eyeliner when they don't know how to and looks like Michael Jackson. It's scary ok! Go read some makeup tutorials.

12. People who says they don't like eating when they're around guys. You know, just to act like all slim and skinny. E.g. 'Oh my god. How can anyone eat KFC. It's like so greasy?! And it like makes you fat and gives you pimples?!?! Ewww gross?!?! I eat salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner!' Ok, there's nothing wrong with eating healthy, but now when you say all those shit and then go home and eat pizza and Maccas, it's wrong. Let me tell you this, bimbo, guys LOVE healthy, nutritious girls that are proud of what they eat.

While I'm at this, for people who are concern about their weight, don't cut down on food. EXERCISE! Or if you're a junkfood addict like me, cut down on chips and chocolates.

13. Hypocrites. People who laughs at my height just because they are 0.00001 mm taller. Pick on someone your own size, buster!

14. People with bad body odour. Hey, did you know that.... it costs only $4 to get a reliable bottle of deodorant? A shower would be nice too. I'm not insulting you, it's for your own hygience and people skills.

15. Blonde asians (the ones that are not naturally born that way, of course).

16. Girls/Women who wear miniskirts and ugg boots in winter (or anytime of the year!). Those two items complement each other like onions and chocolate ice cream (Quote: Simon Cowell). Also, ugg boots are not a good excuse to keep you warm when you're wearing a bloody short skirt. Get some pants!

17. People who say they don't study (when they do) just to sound cool.

18. People who looks down on other people on the basis of their looks. I was at David Jones once after work shopping for LeeAnn's birthday present, and of course I was smelly, greasy and not the most attractive person in the world at that moment. There was this rich, old busty woman, a small-chested, gross-looking me and a sales assistance in the lingerie section. I was less than a metre away from the sales woman. The saggy rich old woman was 5 metres away. The fucking sales woman was like 'Hi, can I help you?' in a rather loud voice. I turned to smile at her, realizing she was talking to the oldie. Fuck you, bitch. I can't be polished and dressed-up 24/7. But hey, at least I've got money to spend and I'm taking it to Myer.

19. Overpriced shops with dodgy stuff. I hate shops like these. E.g. Supre, MCL, MCT, etc. People have the impression that these shops are so cheap because they are dodgy. So, they decided to take advantage of that and jack up their prices. I mean who would actually pay $ 80 for a denim jacket from Supre (I'm serious. I saw a jacket there that costs that much!) when you can go to Myer and get a Bardot denim jacket (not only a better brand, but better quality mind you) for the equivalent price?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we should buy branded items, as I'm not all for brand myself. I go for what's worth my money. The fact that places like Supre have shit stuff and they sell for not what it's worth (they worth a dollar), shits me. Take Valleygirl for example. Yes they do have dodgy stuff, but it's cheap!! You can full buy ok tops for like $5. They know what they're worth. Mom and Dads, don't let your kids buy Supre, it's better to let them run around naked (joke).

I'll end this post on a less angrier note. This is a picture Song drew.



Yes or no? Haha. (It's a Simpson's joke by the way.)